The Definition of "Friend"

Hi bloggers! Wow, I can't believe it's been 11 days since my last entry! Sometimes life can be soooo busy. But I'm back, ready to make you laugh today.

Today's blog is dedicated to my very good friend, Carolyn. We have shared so many hilarious experiences that I decided to tell you why she is such a good friend to me. To me, Carolyn is the person who defines what a true friend should be. She is the kind of person you always cherish and never forget. Here's a few reasons why:

1) The Night at Hooters (yes, that restaurant that everyone goes to "for the hot wings")

Carolyn and I went to a women's event at church. Even more hilarious is the fact that we were coming from church when we ended up at Hooters. After a fun evening at church, neither one of us were ready to go home, yet. If you stay at home with your kids all day, you can totally relate to that. Time away from home sometimes feels like escaping prison. Don't get me wrong, I feel very fortunate to be able to stay home with my kids. It's just that sometimes I get cabin fever. We all need a break every now and then.

So, as we were walking out to our cars after church, Carolyn turned me and said, "I don't want to go home yet. Let's go somewhere. Anywhere." I suggested Starbucks.

We pulled up to Starbucks just as they were closing. We stood there, staring in the window with sad little faces, almost begging the poor fellow at Starbucks to just let us in anyways. We probably looked like we were desperate for a cup a coffee when the truth was we were desperate for ANYTHING not involving Happy Meals, Chuck-E-Cheese or playscapes. However, the guy inside did not feel our pain.

"Sorry, but we're closed"

The next best thing was right next door. Open until at least midnight. Still serving hot food. Full of people having a great time. Inviting us to come over. There it was- Hooters.

We didn't even hesitate for a second. As we walked in, we were greeted by a lovely waitress in shorts that resembled underwear and a tight tank top with that famous logo right across the middle. There we were, two ladies from a church function, worn out from a day of child-rearing, not looking as fabulous as our waitress, but desperate to have an evening of fun with a friend, no matter where we had to go. We sat there at Hooters, eating fried pickles and drinking cokes until midnight. We talked and had a great time. Despite where we were, we were just two friends getting away for a little sanity. It was evening we will never forget. A good friend is there at all times.


2) The Junior High Dance

My oldest daughter, Morgan, was at her school dance on a Friday night. Carolyn and I had decided to hang out. Even though we didn't have any plans, we decided we would just play it by ear. When she arrived, it was getting close to time to pick Morgan up from her dance. We decided to go early and see how a junior high dance today compared to our adolescent days of girls standing on one side of the room and boys standing on the other, too nervous to dare ask someone of the opposite sex to dance. We were going to simply investigate, even though Morgan will tell you we came to spy on her.

Well, times have definitely changed! There was no one standing by a wall anywhere. In fact, this dance resembled my college days when we would spend a night out going from club to club on 6th Street in downtown Austin. These kids could dance! Not only that, but they had moves that would make a Baptist preacher damn them all to H-E-double hockey sticks in a heartbeat! We stood there, feeling old as dirt. I don't think we realized it, until that moment, but it had been longer than either one of us wanted to admit since we were that age. The one good thing that we both realized that night is that we weren't alone in this thing called aging. A good friend is someone you can grow old with.


3) Shaving My Sick, Hairy Cat

I saved this story for last because I think it represents true friendship more than anything. It was one of those things you do for someone and then halfway through doing it, you realize, "Why in the world am I doing this?" Here it goes:

My cat, Prissy, is a long-haired white cat who just turned 8 years old. When I got her as a kitten, I had no idea that she would be so hairy. In fact, she was from a pregnant stray that my aunt rescued from an alley near her job. When the kittens came, she let Morgan pick one to take home. Morgan picked Prissy, the cute little fuzzy female from the litter. She didn't look like she was from any special breed, such as Himalayan or Persian. Obviously, the daddy cat was from some line of cat royalty because Prissy grew up to be a beautiful long-haired diva cat with a name that fit her personality to a T.

As she's gotten older, her grooming habits have gone downhill a bit. In the Spring, she sheds so much that her fur gets matted up in knots and she coughs up hairballs constantly. Without being too gross, I will simply say that this year has been her worst. The mess has been worse than ever before. To relieve her pain, I have started shaving her each Spring.

Until this year, I have always shaved her myself. Because she hates the sound of the clippers, she freaks out and scratches me every time I attempt to remove the pounds of fur that has knotted up all over her body. I consider this task a form of self-torture, but it has to be done. After all, I love my cat.

About two weeks ago, Carolyn came over for a visit. I told her all about Prissy, the hairballs, the matted fur and how I had to shave her. I told her how much I disliked having to shave my cat because of the pain I have to go through while doing it. Carolyn, being the friend that she is, volunteered to help me. She asked for a pair of kitchen gloves and a sweatshirt to protect her hands and arms. After we got everything set up on the back porch, we began.

At first, Carolyn held Prissy down while I attempted to use the clippers to break through the 2-inch knots on her back. When it didn't work, Carolyn suggested switching positions, with me holding Prissy down and her using the scissors to cut off the big pieces first. There we sat, me holding my cat's head between my legs and her legs with my hands and Carolyn working the scissors through Prissy's hair like she was Edward Scissorhands. All the while, Prissy kept jerking her body and clawing at us with her back paws, desperately trying to free herself.

At one point, Carolyn was holding up Prissy's tail while she cut out chunks of dried poo-poo from the fur around her behind. Yes, I said poo-poo. If just hearing about it grosses you out, imagine my dear friend being the one doing it. Just then, we paused, realizing just how disgusting this was!

I said to Carolyn, "You're a true friend to be doing this. You know that?"

"You're right. I am," is all she said. And we continued grooming my cat until she was completely knot-free. That is true friendship!

So to Carolyn, I say thank you! Thank you for being the friend who shares the fun times. Thank you for being the friend whom memories are made with. And most importantly, thank you for being the friend through all of the poo-poo moments of life. A friend like you is one in a million!

Be a Warrior!!

Don't you hate it when you want to do something but can't find the time to do it? It happens to me all of the time. For instance, I haven't found time to type a blog everyday like I wanted. Either a child starts demanding my attention or I have a to-do list that's miles long. Frustrating!

I have so many things I want to write about and not nearly the amount of time I need to complete them. So, I'm left with a few moments each day to share something small with you, in hopes that you will be encouraged, inspired or just touched by the simple message.

Today, I have to write ANOTHER letter to our auto maintenance warranty company. They denied us AGAIN! (See "Contracts... Agh!" for the story about that). It is such a travesty that we must fight to get our own money back, money that is rightfully our's. But that's how it goes with a lot of things: fighting for something that already belongs to us.

I guess if I had to figure out something to learn from this whole experience and other experiences like it, it would be something like this: The things we have to fight for are usually more appreciated in the end. It's true. Things easily won are things easily taken for granted.

In our marriages, we fight to work through the challenges that all married couples face. With our children, we fight to go against what the world says is right and do what we know is right in our hearts. Sometimes with my teenager Morgan, I fight myself just to keep from locking her up in her room for the next 5 years. Life is full of battles to win or lose. I think the important thing is that it is better to fight and lose than to never fight at all. And the victories are oh so sweet!

I'm going to write another letter, now. Those warranty people need to get ready. This warrior chick is not giving up. I'll fight until I win and get my money back. Then, I'll go to Starbucks and the mall to celebrate.

Be a warrior! Never give up!

Spring Cleaning: Part 2

So many of you wanted to know how the garage sale went, so I wanted to give you an update.

I managed to go through every room of the house and clear out at least one box of things. I even cleared out my monster linen closet. It was, literally, one of those closets where things jump out at you. I could hear it growl at me every time I passed it. Scary!

I was up until almost midnight putting price tags on everything. Then, I had to get up at 6 a.m. to set up for the sale. No sleep-late Saturday for me!

It was worth it. I made $175 and my house is clean. Well, actually, my house is NEVER "clean." I should say that it is "cleaned out." Until the toys disappear, "clean" will not be possible. But I feel better. Just knowing that there is less clutter makes me feel more organized.

The next step is to do some spiritual "de-cluttering." I think I will approach it just I like I did with the house- one room at a time. We all need to take at look at ourselves from time to time and see if we need to "clean out" anything. Our hearts are like a house. We store up so much and then we realize that we are out of space. With a house, we can keep piling it in and just get cluttered. With our hearts, we can become cluttered and have no room left for the good things. The last thing I want is to have a heart full of yucky feeling and no room for the good. And it is funny how we will hold on to the yucky stuff first.

For example, I experienced an offense at church on Sunday. It happened after service while I was walking around talking to everyone. I am a social bug who loves to talk to everyone I know. It was something so small that someone said, but I let it get to me for the rest of the day. Yesterday, it was still bothering me when I woke up. I couldn't seem to let it go. Then, I realized that the person who offended me was probably not even thinking about it at all. In fact, they probably didn't even think about how much it would offend me when they said it in the first place. So, who was suffering from it? Not them! It was I who was letting it take up so much of the space in my heart. Clutter! Yucky clutter!

I really had to work at it to let it go. But by getting rid of that unnecessary clutter, I opened up space in my heart for something better, something positive. It was only hurting me to hold onto it. After I let it go, I had a wonderful day spending time with a good friend and filling my heart with good memories, along with a really funny story that will soon be a blog entry. Just wait, you will laugh your head off...

De-clutter your heart and fill it with good stuff. After all, even our hearts need a spring cleaning!

Spring Cleaning

This weekend is our neighborhood garage sale. We hold 1 twice a year and it's huge. There are so many people that come to it that they just park their cars and walk the streets from sale to sale. It's a great opportunity to get rid of things and make a little money at the same time. I decided to use the garage sale as an incentive to do some spring cleaning.

Today is Thursday. The sale is Saturday. I have 1 bag of stuff gathered so far. The rest of the house has yet to be cleaned out. As I sat down to write this morning, I felt so overwhelmed by the task in front of me. I have no idea how in the world I will find the time to go through each room of my house and pull things out, as well as put price tags on them, before Saturday. Right now, I'm looking at a mountain, figuratively speaking.

As I pondered the thought of this mountain, I realized how often we face big tasks before us with no idea how to start tackling them. Many times, I just give up and forget to do it altogether. If you're a perfectionist like me, you know how hard this can be on your self-esteem. When I give up, I usually feel like a total failure. However, I'm reminded that it is better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all.

So often, we look at a mountain and never even take one step towards climbing it. When we do this, we will never know if we would have been able to climb it or not. At least by trying, we can say that we made the effort. In all actuality, any accomplishment is better than none at all.

If I only find time to clean out 4-5 of the 10 rooms in my house, it's better than not cleaning any of them. Sure, I would make more money at my sale if I have more things to sale, but any money is more than I had to start with.

We've all heard the saying "Don't make mountains out of molehills." It's true. If I look at each room as a small molehill, then I'm not really looking at a mountain at all.

It's true for the task or trial that you may be facing, too. Just like my house, full of rooms to be cleaned, your mountain is really a lot of small molehills. If you will tackle them one by one, you will be surprised by how much you can really accomplish.

So I leave you with this thought: Don't allow the tasks or trials in front of you stop you from trying. Start small. If you can only accomplish half of your goals, it's okay. The word to remember is 'accomplish.' You didn't fail to complete things. You accomplished many things. The rest will get done, just maybe not today.

Now it's time for me to start spring cleaning. I'll be sure to let you know how well it goes. I may surprise myself and accomplish more than I expect. The important thing is that I'm starting out with the right attitude.

Have a blessed day!

The Phone Button

Ever wonder if there is a tantrum button inside your kids that is remote-activated by the telephone? I call it "The Phone Button."

Let me explain...

I usually make any phone calls that I need to make first thing in the morning. That way, I get it out of the way and can mark it off my to-do list. However, it seems that there is this "button" inside my kids that is immediately activated by the phone. Every time I pick it up, they automatically start misbehaving.

Scenario: It's early in the morning. My older girls have left for school. My 2 younger children are fed and watching Sesame Street. I have read my daily devotional. The house is peaceful and quiet, other than the sound of Elmo singing something to the tune of "Jingle Bells" on the television. It is the perfect opportunity for me to make a phone call. I pick up the phone and dial.

"Hello," says the person on the other end of the phone.

"Hey, it's Melanie. How are you?"

"I'm great. What's up?"

"Not much. I was just calling to talk to you about something important," I say.

From the living room, World War III begins. Was it because I picked up the phone? Was it the sound of my voice talking to someone other than them? No, it was that hidden tantrum button inside each of their little bodies and it was just activated by the phone. What happened to the peaceful room I just walked out of? What happened to the cheerful sounds of Elmo? What is a mom to do?

I continue my conversation, with screaming kids in the background, killing each other over some toy that neither one of them ever plays with. Except now, it's the most popular toy in the house.

In comes the baby. He falls on the floor right next to me, screaming at a pitch that can cause a person to go deaf. I pick him up, still talking on the phone and unable to hear a single word that the person is saying, and I carry him back to the living room. As I walk back to kitchen, he follows me, screaming at an even higher pitch than the last one.

"Just a second," I say to the person on the other end, "I need to put the phone down and handle this."

"No problem. Take your time," says my understanding friend.

I put the phone down and beat my kids. Just kidding. Actually, I walk into the living room and very calmly tell them that they will both be in trouble if they don't stop screaming while I'm on the phone. Sometimes, I have to send one of them to their room. Then, after getting everyone under control, I return to the phone.

"Sorry about that," I say.

"You handled that well," says my supportive friend. And we continue our conversation.

I wish I could tell you that it ends there. I wish I could tell you that there is no more fighting from the living room. Unfortunately, the tantrum button does not deactivate until the phone is back on the receiver.

From the living room, the screaming and fighting begins almost immediately after I begin talking with my friend again. This time, I give up trying to carry on a conversation and I let the person go.

"I'm so sorry. I'll have to call you back when they are napping."

"That's fine. I'll be here," says my wonderful friend, "Bye."

"Goodbye."

Without fail, the screaming and fighting ceases the very minute I say goodbye. As I walk into the living room, they give me that satisfied look as if to say, "we got our way."

I wish that was the end of it. But now I have to punish them for their behavior and remind them of the rule to be quiet while I'm on the phone.

Will it work? I'm not sure. If I could only find that hidden button and remove it. Until then, please be patient with me if you are the person on the other end if the phone. After all, your kids might have the same button...

It's Raining, It's Pouring

I just absolutely LOVE the rain! I woke up this morning to the sounds of thunder and lightning. Shortly after that came the downpour. Thankfully, the girls had already gotten on their buses and were off to school before the rain started.

I don't know what I like so much about rainstorms. It's actually kind of surprising that I like them at all because the storms used to scare me as a child.

Anytime it would rain with lightning and thunder, I would wake up and want to go to my parents' bedroom. Now, most kids would just run to the bedroom and jump in the bed with their parents. Not me. First, I would carry my sister (whom I shared a room with) into Mom and Dad's room and put her on a blanket on the floor. Then, I would get my 2 brothers, one by one, and bring them into the room. Finally, after I had moved the whole family into one room, I would lay down on the blanket with my siblings and go back to sleep.

I'm not sure what I was so afraid of. It might have been the loud sound of the thunder or the way the whole room would light up from the lightning. Sometimes, the electricity would go out and I would get really scared because it would be so dark in the house. We slept with several nightlights spread throughout the house, so it was only pitch dark if the electricity was out. Whatever the reason, I felt safest if the whole family was together in one room.

Now that I'm a mom myself, I don't have my parents' room to run to when I get scared. I'm the parent that my kids run to when they're scared. Lucky for me, none of them wake up the whole family and move them to one room like I did. But what am I to do if I am the one who becomes afraid? From time to time, I allow fear to take hold of me and I wish that I had a parents' room to run to.

We all face different types of storms in our lives. Many times, the thunder and lightning can scare us. I'm sure we have all wished for a room to run to in those fearful moments. The thing is, fear can only hurt us if we allow it to hurt us. In reality, it can't really hurt us at all. It can make us physically sick or cause us to lose focus on what's really important, but fear itself is powerless. God's Word says that perfect love cast out all fear. And it's really as simple as that.

If we stay in the presence of God's love, there is no place for fear to come in. It's like being in my parents' bedroom. I felt completely safe in that room, so the fear was gone. In the bedroom of God's love there is no room for fear. It's where we can go to stay focused on Him and surrender all of the storms of life to His power. By doing so, those storms are powerless. Fear is powerless.

As I listen to the rain outside, I thank you God for your love that casts out my fears. I am thankful that You have shown me that fear cannot hurt me. I am thankful that you will carry me through the storms of life. The thunder will come. The lightning will come. The electricity might go out. But your bedroom will always be there when I need a place to run to.

Kindergarten Round-up

Today is "Kindergarten Round-up" for our school district, so I'm going to sign Sarah up for kindergarten, this morning. There's more to come...

Added Note to "Contracts...Agh!"

Just wanted to make a correction to my post, today. The contract issue was NOT with Honda. It was an independent company. Honda is great. We will most likely buy another Honda Odyssey when we are reading to trade in. Keep buying Honda's!!

Contracts... Agh!!!

Don't you just love signing contracts when you buy a car, house, large appliance, etc.? (Yes, I meant that sarcastically)

Seriously, we have to sign our life away just to get a cell phone these days. It can be very frustrating. Besides the time it takes to actually read the contract (Yes, I really read it), the very idea that there can be so many "terms and conditions" to agree upon is downright ridiculous.

So, I just have to use today's blog to vent a little. I prayed before I began writing and asked God to somehow use this frustrating experience that I am about to share to teach us something valuable. Let's see how it goes...

The Story
Scott and I bought a new Honda minivan in April 2003. We also bought an extended warranty to cover the vehicle maintenance up to 100,000 miles. According to the contract (I strongly dislike that word, right now), the cost of the warranty would be completely refunded to us if we did not use it within the term of the contract.

Everyone knows that Honda makes a great vehicle. The Honda Odyssey has been rated #1 in the minivan category for a long time. So, chances were in our favor that we would never need to use the extended warranty.

One month ago, we rolled 100,000 miles on our reliable minivan and realized that we were going to be able to get our refund, after all. How exciting! It's kind of like tax time when you find out your getting a refund instead of owing the I.R.S. I don't know about you, but I can come up with a list of things to buy before the check is even printed.

After meeting the mileage requirement of the contract, Scott filled out the paperwork and sent in for our refund. A few days ago, we got a letter back denying our refund. Without going into great detail about why the company was wrong in denying our refund, I will simply say that I have never spent (wasted) so much time reading and re-reading the fine print of a contract before. There are a million and one things I would rather read. But I have 4 kids, so I rarely read anything. However, I can now quote that wonderful contract.

After familiarizing myself with the contract, I wrote a letter of reply stating the incorrectness of the reason for our refund denial and am preparing to mail it today. It took 1 1/2 hours to read the contract, another hour to write the letter, and now I am spending my important blogging time to vent about it. All I can say is, "Agh!!!"

"Agh!" Okay, I feel better.

So here's the part when God shows up and tells us what we can learn from my contract experience.

Even though we may have to sign contracts for everything we purchase/ sign up for, there will never be a contract to sign in order to receive the free gift of God's love and salvation. Jesus already signed that contract for us, in His blood. Isn't that awesome? He loves us so much that He gave us the most important gift of all without having to sign the contract. And in the end, it's the only contract that will matter. So, is your name on it? If not, all you have to do is ask, no signature required.

Today I say, "Thank you God. Thank you for using every challenging circumstance in my life to remind me of how much you love me. Even though you may not rescue me from the struggles of this world, the gift of eternity will carry me through them."