It is Okay to Cry

I tried to get to the grocery store all day, yesterday. When I left for the bank and store at lunchtime, my son threw a fit in the car. After trying to calm him down at the bank, I decided to give up and go home. I had plenty of chores waiting for me at home, anyways.

Shortly after arriving home, my aunt Sandra called. Even though she is my aunt, there is only a 5-year age difference between us; so we are more like sisters. She lives 3 1/2 hours away and has a houseful of boys who keep her very busy, so we don't get to talk much. It was perfect timing because I had just been thinking about her that morning and thought to myself that I would call her when I had time. It's funny how God arranges that!

We haven't had a good conversation in over a year, so we ended up chatting through our kids' entire naptime- 2 1/2 hours! We talked about everything 2 moms could talk about. It was so refreshing!

Towards the end of our conversation, Sandra shared with me the struggle she has with dealing with the loss of her second son, Jacob. Jacob would be 3 1/2 years old now, but died just before being born in June 2004. His umbilical cord got wrapped around his neck and tightened just days before his due date. There was a funeral. Sandra had some of his things framed to hang in memory of him. She also took pictures of him and created a special photo album. And then, about 6 months later, she and her husband decided to get pregnant again and Jaden was born the following summer. Baby Justin followed 2 years later.

Sandra expressed how difficult it is, even today, to think about Jacob. Each holiday is a reminder that he is not here. And while it seems like no one else remembers him, he is so much a part of her heart every day. She cried, but said she felt silly for crying about it. I encouraged her to cry as much as she needed. Even though I can't understand completely how it must feel to lose a child, I know how important it is to cry when you need to cry.

I pray that I never experience the loss of a child. It is a pain we never want to feel. If, however, you have experienced such loss, CRY! Cry as much as you need. It is releasing and lifting. God is holding every single tear that you shed in the palm of His hand. He gave us those tears for a reason. He knew that our lives on Earth would bring all kinds of painful experiences, so He gave us the gift of tears. When you feel like you are all alone and no one in this world can understand exactly what you are facing, He completely understands. He invites you to bring your whole heart to Him. Trust Him.

I look at the day before me. I don't know what it holds. I trust that God will give me what I need to get through this day. He always does! Sister, He has equipped you, too. Be brave, be strong, and cry if you need to.