I hate to admit it, but I'm failing at my goal to regularly write my blog. Its not that I don't have plenty to talk about. Its just that I have soooo much on my mind, right now, and have no idea where to start. So today, I'm just sending out an SOS.
I think that everyone reaches points in their lives where they reflect on where they've been and where they've come to. I'm at one of those points, right now.
I've been a stay-at-home mom ever since the day I walked the stage at Southwest Texas State University with my degree in Public Relations. I had plans to start my career soon after the birth of Anna, whom I was 32 weeks pregnant with when I graduated. Well, God had other plans and I've been home ever since. I've enjoyed being home with my children and doing all kinds of fun things with them. But, the time has come for change.
I'm just beginning the job-hunting process and, needless to say, I'm lost. Everyone wants someone with experience. Well, I have plenty of experience... If anything, my life as a stay-at-home mom has prepared me for just about anything a job could ask for. However, I struggle with how to communicate this 'experience' to a possible employer. I'm confident that I can handle whatever type of work I decide to pursue, but I'm not exactly sure how it will all play out.
On top of that, I've come to realize that my life needs some major overhaul. What that means, exactly, I'm not sure. I'm in a season of searching, for sure. Throughout the years, friends have moved in and out of my life, each leaving an impact on me. Sometimes, however, certain people leave more of an impact than you could imagine. Its hard to understand, unless you've experienced it. All of a sudden, I find myself questioning every decision I've made in the last 15 years. Was I following God's Will or was I following my fears and insecurities at the time? It's hard to say... But it definitely leaves me in a weird place of uncertainty because now I feel like there's something missing that I wasn't previously aware of.
I look at the people around me and I see that same insecurity that I used to have. The people that hide behind an image of false happiness. They act like its all good in their lives, publicly, but they're miserable when they look in the mirror. Why do people choose to live like that? Its most likely not their choice, but rather their lack of understanding of something greater. Whatever the case, it makes me wonder if we are all just too busy trying to make people 'think' that we're happy instead of actually pursuing true happiness. Is it easier to just settle for less? Probably so, but it sure leaves a big hole in our lives. I think that I've reached a point where I'm tired of taking the easy way out. No more just going through the motions!
So, now I've got a heavy load of questions on my shoulders and I'm seeking the answers. I have read more books and Bible passages in the last few weeks than ever. I've had more deep conversations with friends than ever. And, I've come to realize a lot more emotion than I ever knew existed. It's bittersweet, but at least I'm aware that it exists. The challenge I'm facing with it is to keep my words few and trust God to work out the details. Its definitely growing my faith by leaps and bounds! And I trust that the end result will be amazing.
My SOS to you, my friends and family, is to support me. Pray that I have the courage to follow through with whatever I have to do. Pray that I don't settle. Pray that I keep my confidence as I look for a job and don't get discouraged. Pray that I don't lose sight of the picture I see of my future. And, lastly, pray that those people most dear to my heart will do the same.
I love you all!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
An Angel's Mother
I would like to share a story that I wrote 4 1/2 years ago when I was asked to speak at my church's women's conference about Anna. This is dedicated to Alyssa McCarty.
An Angel’s Mother
I look back over the past 4 years of my life and think, “Wow, God is awesome!” It is amazing to think of how faithful He has been and how much He really does intend everything for good.
The story began in May 2001. I had just graduated with my Bachelor of Arts in Mass Communication and my husband, Scott, and I were eagerly waiting for the birth of our second daughter. We had “the plan.” I would stay home with the baby for the first year or so and then start working part-time when she was older. Little did I know how much our lives were about to change.
On June 27, 2001, we gave birth to a beautiful blue-eyed, redheaded baby girl who looked just like her Daddy. We named her Anna. We were so happy to finally hold her in our arms and welcome her into our family. All seemed right in the world, for the moment. Before Anna was 12 hours old, the doctors realized that something was not right. In fact, Anna stopped breathing several times throughout the night and had to be put in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. By the time she was 24 hours old, we were informed that she would remain in the hospital for a minimum of 10 days, maybe longer. Those 10 days turned into 21 days. Over the course of that time, Anna’s diagnosis became more and more complex.
We were originally told that she had contracted a strep virus and would be fine after 10 days of IV antibiotic treatment. However, as each day unfolded something else would go wrong. First, we discovered she was having seizure activity in her brain. Second, she would stop breathing due to extreme acid reflux. Third, she had a small heart murmur. The list continued to grow. When she was finally released from the hospital, we went home with 5 different daily medications to be administered every 6 hours, an oxygen tank for when she stopped breathing, and an apnea monitor that she had to wear 24-7. Needless to say, life was going to be different.
Up until that point, my walk with the Lord had been less than ideal. Although my husband and
I attended a local church, neither one of us were doing much to feed our spirits. I had been closer to God earlier in my life, but had drifted away in my late teen years. As I dealt with daily life with Anna, I found myself returning to the One Source of hope I had once avoided. As I prayed more and more, I found myself begging the Lord to just let me wake up and it all be a bad dream. I prayed that Anna would be normal. I prayed for an answer to what was wrong with her. Most importantly, I prayed for comfort.
My comfort came in the most surprising way. Just 3 houses down the street lived an awesome family, The McCartys. Hal and Katherine McCarty had 5 children, ranging in age from 8 to 19. Their youngest daughter, Lindsay, was best friends with my daughter, Morgan. Lindsay and Morgan spent every day together. Just 7 months prior to Anna’s birth, Lindsay’s sister, Alyssa, had been diagnosed with leukemia. At the time of her diagnosis, I had told Lindsay that everything would be fine, people survive leukemia all of the time. Each day, when Lindsay came over to play, she would give us updates on Alyssa’s health. During that June when Anna was born, Alyssa was undergoing bone marrow transplant. The McCarty’s oldest daughter, Lauren, had been a bone marrow match for Alyssa.
While I was adjusting to life with Anna at home, Katherine McCarty was also making adjustments in her own life with caring for Alyssa, who was undergoing radiation treatments. The months that followed kept us both very busy. Lindsay continued to keep us updated on Alyssa’s progress.
When Anna was four months old, we finally got an answer to our questions. She had a rare condition known only as a 1P36 chromosome deletion. Everything that was known about this condition made it sound terrible. Things like “facial abnormalities”, “severe developmental delay”, ”cardiomyopathy”, ”seizures”, and “retardation” were just a few of the phrases used to describe it. Worst of all, no doctor could tell us if Anna would live a full life or not. We were told to just take her home and get in contact with other families who had a child with the same condition.
My first reaction to this diagnosis was once again to beg God to make it all be a bad dream. However, He had something better in mind, and He ministered to me through the McCarty family’s lives.
Just a month after Anna’s diagnosis, Alyssa McCarty re-lapsed. It happened the day the kids were let out of school for Christmas break. Katherine had taken Alyssa for a check-up with her oncologist earlier that day, and had only been home for an hour when the phone call came. Lindsay showed up at our door just minutes after Katherine received the call. She was crying and told us the she was afraid that Alyssa was going to die. It was hard for me to hold back the tears and be strong for Lindsay’s sake as I tried to assure her that Alyssa would be okay. I asked her how her mother was doing and she told me that Katherine had called Hal, telling him to come home as quickly as possible. As I sat there, trying to comfort Lindsay without revealing how much it hurt me to hear this news, I thought about Katherine.
Later that night, Katherine and Alyssa took a bike ride. When they were returning home, I stopped Katherine to ask her how it was going. She shared what she knew at that point and said to me, “I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose her.” I felt so connected to her at that moment because I knew what that feeling felt like with Anna. Alyssa was admitted back into the hospital to fight the leukemia once again.
The next two months flew by. Christmas came and Alyssa was still in the hospital. Lindsay came to our house on Christmas morning just as we finished opening our gifts. Morgan asked her what she had gotten for Christmas. Lindsay told us that they were waiting until Alyssa came home from the hospital to open their gifts; only Alyssa never came home.
Alyssa McCarty passed away on February 18, 2002 at the age of 15. She had touched so many lives in her 15 years of life, and the funeral service showed it. The church was filled with so many people of all different ages. People who knew her could not keep from being lifted by her contagious love for life. She was a musician, a cheerleader, a volleyball player, a dancer, an honor student, and the list goes on. At her funeral, there was slide show of pictures throughout her life. As I sat there, watching the slide show, I realized that Alyssa had been the amazing person that she was because of the amazing parents that God had placed her with. She knew the Lord and was not afraid of leaving this world to go home to Him. Her parents had showed her God’s love every day of her life. I knew that Katherine was the kind of mother that I wanted to be to my children.
Alyssa’s funeral was on a Friday. The Sunday just after the funeral, I asked my husband if we could attend the McCarty’s church. We went to Shoreline for the first time for a regular Sunday morning service and sat with the McCarty’s. When the time came for people to go forward for prayer, the large church intimidated me, so I just closed my eyes and began to pray from my seat. I was praying for Anna, as always, trying to figure out what God had planned for her life. Suddenly, I felt Katherine reach over and put her arm around me and start praying for me. I don’t remember much of what she said because I kept thinking to myself, ‘she just buried her child on Friday and she’s praying for me!’
That moment impacted my life profoundly. Katherine had strength that came from something greater than human capabilities. I knew that she was strong in her faith and that God was the source of her peace. I also knew that I wanted that same peace. I wasn’t even close to it at the time, but I was beginning to see God’s hand at work through Katherine.
Shortly after the funeral, I started visiting Katherine several times a week. She would ask me how Anna was doing and then she would tell me about all that she had been through with Alyssa. I just listened, making sure to store every detail in my memory. Katherine didn’t know how much she was ministering to me by just sharing her story, but I knew that it was healing for her. It was healing for me, too. I began to change the way I prayed for Anna. I no longer prayed for everything to be a bad dream that I would wake up from. Instead, I prayed for God’s guidance in caring for Anna. I began to accept her disability and learn all that I could to help her. One day, Katherine said something that has stayed with me ever since. She told me that she always knew that her children belonged to God and that He could call them home whenever He was ready; she just never thought leukemia. Her peace had come from the trust that she had in God’s perfect will.
In the months that followed, I started to submit Anna’s life to God completely. One night around 2 or 3 a.m., I found the peace that I had been looking for. Anna was struggling with the reflux and couldn’t sleep lying flat. She would wake up crying in the night because the reflux hurt, even when her head was elevated. I brought her into the living room and began rocking her in the rocking chair. As I rocked, I reflected on the last few months and all that Katherine had told me. Her statement about her children belonging to God and how she always knew He could call them home at any time kept coming back to my mind. I laid Anna down in the middle of my living room floor and began to pray, “God, I know she’s yours. I know that you can call her home at any time. I trust you with her life, completely. I am not afraid of whatever the future may hold for her because I know that you are in control.” I picked her back up and sat back in the chair. Then, I felt the Holy Spirit flood me with His presence. I felt a total sense of peace. God comforted me at my time of need just as He had comforted Katherine.
Life began to change a lot after that. I learned to pray, with faith, for Anna. Just shortly after her first birthday, her seizure activity was gone. God had healed her. She continued to improve and we adjusted to life with a special-needs child. Both Scott and I grew closer to God and learned to live by His will. There was no more talk of “the plan.” Anna welcomed a baby sister, Sarah, a month before her 2nd birthday. The McCarty family continued to adjust to life without Alyssa. There were difficult moments for both families, but it was so much easier to get through them with the Lord’s help.
Anna is 4 years old, now. She is very physically handicapped. She can’t sit up unassisted, or crawl, or walk. She isn’t able to talk, but communicates very effectively in other ways. She is learning to feed herself. She loves swimming in her pool, riding her special tricycle with her sisters, and going to school. She goes to school in a program for children with disabilities. She is healthy and happy. Most importantly, she knows Jesus. If we sing “Jesus Loves Me,” she looks off to the side as if she sees Him sitting right there. I often think to myself that Anna isn’t the one with a handicap; we are. We get so concerned with trivial things and about what we have to accomplish in life that we lose focus of what our purpose really is- to be loved by God and love Him back. Anna lives her purpose every day.
The best lesson that I learned from Katherine about being a mother was to teach my children the love of God. I will never forget the lessons that I learned from her or her very special angel, Alyssa.
An Angel’s Mother
I look back over the past 4 years of my life and think, “Wow, God is awesome!” It is amazing to think of how faithful He has been and how much He really does intend everything for good.
The story began in May 2001. I had just graduated with my Bachelor of Arts in Mass Communication and my husband, Scott, and I were eagerly waiting for the birth of our second daughter. We had “the plan.” I would stay home with the baby for the first year or so and then start working part-time when she was older. Little did I know how much our lives were about to change.
On June 27, 2001, we gave birth to a beautiful blue-eyed, redheaded baby girl who looked just like her Daddy. We named her Anna. We were so happy to finally hold her in our arms and welcome her into our family. All seemed right in the world, for the moment. Before Anna was 12 hours old, the doctors realized that something was not right. In fact, Anna stopped breathing several times throughout the night and had to be put in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. By the time she was 24 hours old, we were informed that she would remain in the hospital for a minimum of 10 days, maybe longer. Those 10 days turned into 21 days. Over the course of that time, Anna’s diagnosis became more and more complex.
We were originally told that she had contracted a strep virus and would be fine after 10 days of IV antibiotic treatment. However, as each day unfolded something else would go wrong. First, we discovered she was having seizure activity in her brain. Second, she would stop breathing due to extreme acid reflux. Third, she had a small heart murmur. The list continued to grow. When she was finally released from the hospital, we went home with 5 different daily medications to be administered every 6 hours, an oxygen tank for when she stopped breathing, and an apnea monitor that she had to wear 24-7. Needless to say, life was going to be different.
Up until that point, my walk with the Lord had been less than ideal. Although my husband and
I attended a local church, neither one of us were doing much to feed our spirits. I had been closer to God earlier in my life, but had drifted away in my late teen years. As I dealt with daily life with Anna, I found myself returning to the One Source of hope I had once avoided. As I prayed more and more, I found myself begging the Lord to just let me wake up and it all be a bad dream. I prayed that Anna would be normal. I prayed for an answer to what was wrong with her. Most importantly, I prayed for comfort.
My comfort came in the most surprising way. Just 3 houses down the street lived an awesome family, The McCartys. Hal and Katherine McCarty had 5 children, ranging in age from 8 to 19. Their youngest daughter, Lindsay, was best friends with my daughter, Morgan. Lindsay and Morgan spent every day together. Just 7 months prior to Anna’s birth, Lindsay’s sister, Alyssa, had been diagnosed with leukemia. At the time of her diagnosis, I had told Lindsay that everything would be fine, people survive leukemia all of the time. Each day, when Lindsay came over to play, she would give us updates on Alyssa’s health. During that June when Anna was born, Alyssa was undergoing bone marrow transplant. The McCarty’s oldest daughter, Lauren, had been a bone marrow match for Alyssa.
While I was adjusting to life with Anna at home, Katherine McCarty was also making adjustments in her own life with caring for Alyssa, who was undergoing radiation treatments. The months that followed kept us both very busy. Lindsay continued to keep us updated on Alyssa’s progress.
When Anna was four months old, we finally got an answer to our questions. She had a rare condition known only as a 1P36 chromosome deletion. Everything that was known about this condition made it sound terrible. Things like “facial abnormalities”, “severe developmental delay”, ”cardiomyopathy”, ”seizures”, and “retardation” were just a few of the phrases used to describe it. Worst of all, no doctor could tell us if Anna would live a full life or not. We were told to just take her home and get in contact with other families who had a child with the same condition.
My first reaction to this diagnosis was once again to beg God to make it all be a bad dream. However, He had something better in mind, and He ministered to me through the McCarty family’s lives.
Just a month after Anna’s diagnosis, Alyssa McCarty re-lapsed. It happened the day the kids were let out of school for Christmas break. Katherine had taken Alyssa for a check-up with her oncologist earlier that day, and had only been home for an hour when the phone call came. Lindsay showed up at our door just minutes after Katherine received the call. She was crying and told us the she was afraid that Alyssa was going to die. It was hard for me to hold back the tears and be strong for Lindsay’s sake as I tried to assure her that Alyssa would be okay. I asked her how her mother was doing and she told me that Katherine had called Hal, telling him to come home as quickly as possible. As I sat there, trying to comfort Lindsay without revealing how much it hurt me to hear this news, I thought about Katherine.
Later that night, Katherine and Alyssa took a bike ride. When they were returning home, I stopped Katherine to ask her how it was going. She shared what she knew at that point and said to me, “I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose her.” I felt so connected to her at that moment because I knew what that feeling felt like with Anna. Alyssa was admitted back into the hospital to fight the leukemia once again.
The next two months flew by. Christmas came and Alyssa was still in the hospital. Lindsay came to our house on Christmas morning just as we finished opening our gifts. Morgan asked her what she had gotten for Christmas. Lindsay told us that they were waiting until Alyssa came home from the hospital to open their gifts; only Alyssa never came home.
Alyssa McCarty passed away on February 18, 2002 at the age of 15. She had touched so many lives in her 15 years of life, and the funeral service showed it. The church was filled with so many people of all different ages. People who knew her could not keep from being lifted by her contagious love for life. She was a musician, a cheerleader, a volleyball player, a dancer, an honor student, and the list goes on. At her funeral, there was slide show of pictures throughout her life. As I sat there, watching the slide show, I realized that Alyssa had been the amazing person that she was because of the amazing parents that God had placed her with. She knew the Lord and was not afraid of leaving this world to go home to Him. Her parents had showed her God’s love every day of her life. I knew that Katherine was the kind of mother that I wanted to be to my children.
Alyssa’s funeral was on a Friday. The Sunday just after the funeral, I asked my husband if we could attend the McCarty’s church. We went to Shoreline for the first time for a regular Sunday morning service and sat with the McCarty’s. When the time came for people to go forward for prayer, the large church intimidated me, so I just closed my eyes and began to pray from my seat. I was praying for Anna, as always, trying to figure out what God had planned for her life. Suddenly, I felt Katherine reach over and put her arm around me and start praying for me. I don’t remember much of what she said because I kept thinking to myself, ‘she just buried her child on Friday and she’s praying for me!’
That moment impacted my life profoundly. Katherine had strength that came from something greater than human capabilities. I knew that she was strong in her faith and that God was the source of her peace. I also knew that I wanted that same peace. I wasn’t even close to it at the time, but I was beginning to see God’s hand at work through Katherine.
Shortly after the funeral, I started visiting Katherine several times a week. She would ask me how Anna was doing and then she would tell me about all that she had been through with Alyssa. I just listened, making sure to store every detail in my memory. Katherine didn’t know how much she was ministering to me by just sharing her story, but I knew that it was healing for her. It was healing for me, too. I began to change the way I prayed for Anna. I no longer prayed for everything to be a bad dream that I would wake up from. Instead, I prayed for God’s guidance in caring for Anna. I began to accept her disability and learn all that I could to help her. One day, Katherine said something that has stayed with me ever since. She told me that she always knew that her children belonged to God and that He could call them home whenever He was ready; she just never thought leukemia. Her peace had come from the trust that she had in God’s perfect will.
In the months that followed, I started to submit Anna’s life to God completely. One night around 2 or 3 a.m., I found the peace that I had been looking for. Anna was struggling with the reflux and couldn’t sleep lying flat. She would wake up crying in the night because the reflux hurt, even when her head was elevated. I brought her into the living room and began rocking her in the rocking chair. As I rocked, I reflected on the last few months and all that Katherine had told me. Her statement about her children belonging to God and how she always knew He could call them home at any time kept coming back to my mind. I laid Anna down in the middle of my living room floor and began to pray, “God, I know she’s yours. I know that you can call her home at any time. I trust you with her life, completely. I am not afraid of whatever the future may hold for her because I know that you are in control.” I picked her back up and sat back in the chair. Then, I felt the Holy Spirit flood me with His presence. I felt a total sense of peace. God comforted me at my time of need just as He had comforted Katherine.
Life began to change a lot after that. I learned to pray, with faith, for Anna. Just shortly after her first birthday, her seizure activity was gone. God had healed her. She continued to improve and we adjusted to life with a special-needs child. Both Scott and I grew closer to God and learned to live by His will. There was no more talk of “the plan.” Anna welcomed a baby sister, Sarah, a month before her 2nd birthday. The McCarty family continued to adjust to life without Alyssa. There were difficult moments for both families, but it was so much easier to get through them with the Lord’s help.
Anna is 4 years old, now. She is very physically handicapped. She can’t sit up unassisted, or crawl, or walk. She isn’t able to talk, but communicates very effectively in other ways. She is learning to feed herself. She loves swimming in her pool, riding her special tricycle with her sisters, and going to school. She goes to school in a program for children with disabilities. She is healthy and happy. Most importantly, she knows Jesus. If we sing “Jesus Loves Me,” she looks off to the side as if she sees Him sitting right there. I often think to myself that Anna isn’t the one with a handicap; we are. We get so concerned with trivial things and about what we have to accomplish in life that we lose focus of what our purpose really is- to be loved by God and love Him back. Anna lives her purpose every day.
The best lesson that I learned from Katherine about being a mother was to teach my children the love of God. I will never forget the lessons that I learned from her or her very special angel, Alyssa.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Remember the "Be a Warrior" post?
For those of you who have followed this blog all along, I wrote about an issue we were having with getting our refund for our extended warranty plan on our van. Well, I am happy to report, one year later, that we received a check for the full amount plus interest about 3 months ago. Hooray!!!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
A Whole Year- GONE!
Wow! My sweet neighbor, Sue, pointed out that I had not blogged in an entire year! I started thinking of where to pick up and what to write and found a great big blank spot in the creative place in my brain.
This is not to say that I haven't thought of topics over the past year, but that I am currently at a loss...
Having said this, I have decided to share about the personal struggles that my family and I have been facing this season. Grab a tissue because I could make you cry. At least, I know I'll cry!
As you have read in past blogs, I have a precious little angel named Anna who has a rare chromosome disorder. This disorder has caused her to be completely delayed in every aspect of normal development. (With the exception of being a totally normal 8 year-old who LOVES Taylor Swift)
This year has been a challenge for Anna. Not only have her seizures increased, but they have become much more intense and debilitating. They interfere with her daily routines and rob her of some days, entirely. We have tried several different medications with no luck in bringing these seizures under control. It has changed life for us. We can no longer just jump in the car and go off for a Saturday adventure. No, if Anna is having seizures, someone must stay home with her until they stop. And if we plan a trip out of town and Anna starts having seizures the day before, there's a chance that we will not be spending that much-needed time with long-distance loved ones like we had planned. Needless to say, its been an adjustment.
I find myself questioning God about why He would let Anna continue to suffer like this and what it is that I'm doing wrong. For those of you who know me well, you KNOW that I know that God does not act against us, nor does our wrongdoing affect His feelings towards us. But all the same, I found myself doubting the truth.
The hardest place to be on this journey in life is in the place of doubt. Although the truths of life are available to me just by reading God's Word, my feelings can easily cause me to believe the lies around me.
Lie #1: A large population of the country I live in believe that children like my Anna should be terminated before they are even given the chance to breathe their first breath of life. It's a convenient way to end something that they see as 'burdensome' and an 'unnecessary pain'. Rather than let the child have an opportunity to be born and possibly overcome the odds against them, these people choose to rob them of any chance at all. I just read in Sarah Palin's book, "Going Rogue," that 90 % of Down Syndrome babies are aborted. I have no idea of what the statistic are for children like Anna, but it saddens me to think that there are people out there who look at my little girl as a burden. People who will never know the true joy of raising a special child like her. People whose hearts will never be transformed as my own heart has by my little gift from God.
I know that Anna was placed on this Earth exactly the way she is for a reason that I may never know until I get to Heaven. I don't expect my limited human brain to ever comprehend everything that God knows and plans to do through Anna's life. It's called faith. And its my faith that has brought me through every excrutiatingly difficult circumstance of my life. And for right now, its the only thing that sustains me from day to day.
Lie #2: Anna will never be a productive member of society as long as she is disabled. I think that it boils down to the fact that our society has taken a 'survival of the fittest' mentality. So many people seem to think that their successes come from their own efforts and talent. Too many people no longer understand that EVERY good thing in their life, including the intelligent brain in their head, is a gift from God: The Creator of it all. Having said that, I must remind myself that God created Anna, too. He says in Psalm 139 that "He knit us together in our mother's womb." and that "He knew all the days of our lives before we even lived them." And that goes for Anna and every single child that God creates. So, He planned and purposed her for a specific task. She has an assignment on this planet that no other person can complete as perfectly as God planned it for her. And whether or not people see her task as "productive" or not, I know that the Creator of the universe does. And that's all that really matters.
At this moment, I can't think of some of the other lies that I have heard, but I can think of some other truths that I have continued to hold fast to.
As a child, I experienced abuse in ways that many people can't bear to hear. For that reason, I won't go into the details of it. I merely speak of it so that people will understand why I hold so tightly to my faith in God and the wonderful Son that he sent to Earth to save us.
When I was a child, I asked Jesus to be the Lord and savior of my life. I was only 8 years old, but my understanding of the harshness of life was beyond my years. I didn't live the picture-perfect 'Leave it to Beaver' life that people around me appeared to live. Instead, I saw and was subject to an unfairness of life that too many children on this planet face every day. The tragedy of this fact is that only a small portion of children like myself ever grow up to become a spiritually and emotionally healthy adult. I owe the happy ending (even though there is a lot more life ahead of me) of my own story to the love of Jesus. Because He is the only person that ever walked on this planet who has sustained far worse than any person in history. He understands. He walked in my pain with me. He never left and He brought me through.
The truth that Jesus loves me is the Absolute most important truth that will carry me through ANYTHING I must walk through. He loves me through the people around me. He loves me through my childrens' hugs. He loves me through each and every struggle that makes me stronger. He IS my Rock. And, He lives through my Anna every day.
Anna loves people. She never looks at someone with judgement. She never speaks a mean word to someone. She may never hurt someone's feelings like I regretfully admit that I have done. She loves life and never complains. Even on her worst of days, she manages to smile and giggle at something simple. She is more like Jesus than any person I have ever met. And whether she ever walks or talks, or not, she will live a more God-glorifying life than I could ever hope to live.
Yes, I will continue to struggle with this journey with Anna. Yes, its hard. Its REALLY hard. But, its worth it. I wouldn't trade it for the world. And while I am struggling at the moment, I know that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. I know that Jesus is walking right beside me today. And I know that He hears my doubts but loves me more. I'm not giving up. He paid too high of a price for me to do that. He laid down his very life so that I may have life. And have it more abundantly.
This is not to say that I haven't thought of topics over the past year, but that I am currently at a loss...
Having said this, I have decided to share about the personal struggles that my family and I have been facing this season. Grab a tissue because I could make you cry. At least, I know I'll cry!
As you have read in past blogs, I have a precious little angel named Anna who has a rare chromosome disorder. This disorder has caused her to be completely delayed in every aspect of normal development. (With the exception of being a totally normal 8 year-old who LOVES Taylor Swift)
This year has been a challenge for Anna. Not only have her seizures increased, but they have become much more intense and debilitating. They interfere with her daily routines and rob her of some days, entirely. We have tried several different medications with no luck in bringing these seizures under control. It has changed life for us. We can no longer just jump in the car and go off for a Saturday adventure. No, if Anna is having seizures, someone must stay home with her until they stop. And if we plan a trip out of town and Anna starts having seizures the day before, there's a chance that we will not be spending that much-needed time with long-distance loved ones like we had planned. Needless to say, its been an adjustment.
I find myself questioning God about why He would let Anna continue to suffer like this and what it is that I'm doing wrong. For those of you who know me well, you KNOW that I know that God does not act against us, nor does our wrongdoing affect His feelings towards us. But all the same, I found myself doubting the truth.
The hardest place to be on this journey in life is in the place of doubt. Although the truths of life are available to me just by reading God's Word, my feelings can easily cause me to believe the lies around me.
Lie #1: A large population of the country I live in believe that children like my Anna should be terminated before they are even given the chance to breathe their first breath of life. It's a convenient way to end something that they see as 'burdensome' and an 'unnecessary pain'. Rather than let the child have an opportunity to be born and possibly overcome the odds against them, these people choose to rob them of any chance at all. I just read in Sarah Palin's book, "Going Rogue," that 90 % of Down Syndrome babies are aborted. I have no idea of what the statistic are for children like Anna, but it saddens me to think that there are people out there who look at my little girl as a burden. People who will never know the true joy of raising a special child like her. People whose hearts will never be transformed as my own heart has by my little gift from God.
I know that Anna was placed on this Earth exactly the way she is for a reason that I may never know until I get to Heaven. I don't expect my limited human brain to ever comprehend everything that God knows and plans to do through Anna's life. It's called faith. And its my faith that has brought me through every excrutiatingly difficult circumstance of my life. And for right now, its the only thing that sustains me from day to day.
Lie #2: Anna will never be a productive member of society as long as she is disabled. I think that it boils down to the fact that our society has taken a 'survival of the fittest' mentality. So many people seem to think that their successes come from their own efforts and talent. Too many people no longer understand that EVERY good thing in their life, including the intelligent brain in their head, is a gift from God: The Creator of it all. Having said that, I must remind myself that God created Anna, too. He says in Psalm 139 that "He knit us together in our mother's womb." and that "He knew all the days of our lives before we even lived them." And that goes for Anna and every single child that God creates. So, He planned and purposed her for a specific task. She has an assignment on this planet that no other person can complete as perfectly as God planned it for her. And whether or not people see her task as "productive" or not, I know that the Creator of the universe does. And that's all that really matters.
At this moment, I can't think of some of the other lies that I have heard, but I can think of some other truths that I have continued to hold fast to.
As a child, I experienced abuse in ways that many people can't bear to hear. For that reason, I won't go into the details of it. I merely speak of it so that people will understand why I hold so tightly to my faith in God and the wonderful Son that he sent to Earth to save us.
When I was a child, I asked Jesus to be the Lord and savior of my life. I was only 8 years old, but my understanding of the harshness of life was beyond my years. I didn't live the picture-perfect 'Leave it to Beaver' life that people around me appeared to live. Instead, I saw and was subject to an unfairness of life that too many children on this planet face every day. The tragedy of this fact is that only a small portion of children like myself ever grow up to become a spiritually and emotionally healthy adult. I owe the happy ending (even though there is a lot more life ahead of me) of my own story to the love of Jesus. Because He is the only person that ever walked on this planet who has sustained far worse than any person in history. He understands. He walked in my pain with me. He never left and He brought me through.
The truth that Jesus loves me is the Absolute most important truth that will carry me through ANYTHING I must walk through. He loves me through the people around me. He loves me through my childrens' hugs. He loves me through each and every struggle that makes me stronger. He IS my Rock. And, He lives through my Anna every day.
Anna loves people. She never looks at someone with judgement. She never speaks a mean word to someone. She may never hurt someone's feelings like I regretfully admit that I have done. She loves life and never complains. Even on her worst of days, she manages to smile and giggle at something simple. She is more like Jesus than any person I have ever met. And whether she ever walks or talks, or not, she will live a more God-glorifying life than I could ever hope to live.
Yes, I will continue to struggle with this journey with Anna. Yes, its hard. Its REALLY hard. But, its worth it. I wouldn't trade it for the world. And while I am struggling at the moment, I know that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. I know that Jesus is walking right beside me today. And I know that He hears my doubts but loves me more. I'm not giving up. He paid too high of a price for me to do that. He laid down his very life so that I may have life. And have it more abundantly.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Things I Will Laugh About One Day
So it's 7:30 p.m. on a Sunday night and I have actually found time to sit at the computer...
I am feeling inspired to write a blog. Don't know what about. Don't know where to start. I think I will just start to write about all of the wonderful experiences I have had recently and try to laugh about them, if I am at that point...
First of all, many people have asked, "What happened to Clay and why is he in a body cast?" Before I start, here's a picture:
He looks WAY too happy for a 2 year-old in a body cast. But that's my son. He can put on that cheesy smile in the worst of circumstances. We should all learn from him.
So it happened in October. It started out like any other day, except that Anna stayed home from school. She and I were supposed to take a trip out of town that afternoon and she had been having seizures the day before, so I kept her home. As usual , Clay rushed through breakfast and darted for the back door. I wasn't finished feeding Anna, yet, so I let him go out by himself and watched him through the window.
BIG No-No! According to the nurse at the hospital who obviously does NOT have multiple children, you are NEVER supposed to let your children out of your sight. So forget peeing in private, Mommas! And if you have 5 kids, I hope you have a BIG bathroom!
Shortly after he went outside, I popped my head out the door just to make sure he was still playing on the ground. We have a large wooden playscape in the backyard and my son is quite the daredevil, so I really try to keep a close eye on him. He was fine. Back to feeding Anna.
I finished feeding Anna and took her to the living room. When I returned to the backyard, I found Clay lying flat on his back under the playscape. And Boy Wonder was not moving! I did what any mother would do- I freaked!
I called 911 because I had no idea what was broken. The boy who doesn't have a still bone in his body would not move an inch. We took a ride in the ambulance to the Children's Hospital and began the tedious process of elimination to find out what was wrong. And since my son is 2 and has no desire to talk in words, he couldn't tell them what hurt. He DID manage to say, "Ow, ow, ow!" to everything they touched, so it was safe to say he was hurt somewhere. Okay, I'm laughing now!
After MRI's, x-rays, and CAT scans, he had a dislocated shoulder and broken rib (apparently caught the swing on the way down from the monkey bars) and a spiral fracture to the right femur (big bone in the thigh). Praise God his neck and spine were fine!!
Later that evening, he was put under anesthesia to cast the leg and further examine the shoulder and rib. When the doctor came out, he had a puzzled look on his face as he told us that the shoulder was fine and he couldn't see a break in the rib any longer. See, God still ceases to amaze the medical profession!
Clay spent the night in the hospital and came home the next day. The cast is huge, I mean HUGE!! It must weigh 10 lbs. alone. I'm trying to look at the positive and focus on how buff my biceps are getting by lifting him in it every day.
(I would put a picture of my buff arms here if I had one)
Anyways, 1 1/2 weeks later was Halloween. What to do with a boy in a blue body cast? Hmm...
It's Superman Clay!!!
I am feeling inspired to write a blog. Don't know what about. Don't know where to start. I think I will just start to write about all of the wonderful experiences I have had recently and try to laugh about them, if I am at that point...
First of all, many people have asked, "What happened to Clay and why is he in a body cast?" Before I start, here's a picture:
He looks WAY too happy for a 2 year-old in a body cast. But that's my son. He can put on that cheesy smile in the worst of circumstances. We should all learn from him.
So it happened in October. It started out like any other day, except that Anna stayed home from school. She and I were supposed to take a trip out of town that afternoon and she had been having seizures the day before, so I kept her home. As usual , Clay rushed through breakfast and darted for the back door. I wasn't finished feeding Anna, yet, so I let him go out by himself and watched him through the window.
BIG No-No! According to the nurse at the hospital who obviously does NOT have multiple children, you are NEVER supposed to let your children out of your sight. So forget peeing in private, Mommas! And if you have 5 kids, I hope you have a BIG bathroom!
Shortly after he went outside, I popped my head out the door just to make sure he was still playing on the ground. We have a large wooden playscape in the backyard and my son is quite the daredevil, so I really try to keep a close eye on him. He was fine. Back to feeding Anna.
I finished feeding Anna and took her to the living room. When I returned to the backyard, I found Clay lying flat on his back under the playscape. And Boy Wonder was not moving! I did what any mother would do- I freaked!
I called 911 because I had no idea what was broken. The boy who doesn't have a still bone in his body would not move an inch. We took a ride in the ambulance to the Children's Hospital and began the tedious process of elimination to find out what was wrong. And since my son is 2 and has no desire to talk in words, he couldn't tell them what hurt. He DID manage to say, "Ow, ow, ow!" to everything they touched, so it was safe to say he was hurt somewhere. Okay, I'm laughing now!
After MRI's, x-rays, and CAT scans, he had a dislocated shoulder and broken rib (apparently caught the swing on the way down from the monkey bars) and a spiral fracture to the right femur (big bone in the thigh). Praise God his neck and spine were fine!!
Later that evening, he was put under anesthesia to cast the leg and further examine the shoulder and rib. When the doctor came out, he had a puzzled look on his face as he told us that the shoulder was fine and he couldn't see a break in the rib any longer. See, God still ceases to amaze the medical profession!
Clay spent the night in the hospital and came home the next day. The cast is huge, I mean HUGE!! It must weigh 10 lbs. alone. I'm trying to look at the positive and focus on how buff my biceps are getting by lifting him in it every day.
(I would put a picture of my buff arms here if I had one)
Anyways, 1 1/2 weeks later was Halloween. What to do with a boy in a blue body cast? Hmm...
It's Superman Clay!!!
So, looking back and laughing about this, I'm wondering what this experience has taught me...
He's still in the body cast, but we have had many opportunities to laugh. As I am writing this, I can hear Clay in the other room, crying because he hit his head on something. Chances are he was being a daredevil again. Currently, he has figured out how to walk in the cast. He also belly crawls on the concrete to the extent of tearing holes in every one of his shirts. Last weekend, our friends from out of town got to witness my son climbing the very playscape that he fell from. And don't think for a minute that it has slowed him down a bit. The boy is clever!
So what I have learned is that, like my son Clay, we each choose how we will handle the difficulties that come our way. Despite his huge cast and broken bone, he has chosen to keep on going. He didn't let it slow him down. He just improvised how he would keep moving. We ALL get broken and bruised. Our casts may not be physically apparent, but we ALL wear them. How we will deal with them is up to us. We can just lie down and give up or we can get up and improvise.
God called every one of us to be warriors. He doesn't MAKE us get up and fight. That will always be our choice. But if we choose to fight, we have Him inside to help us keep going.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Peace Be With You
I woke up this morning like many Americans- anxious to know who was elected our next President. Regardless of who we may have voted for, we were all wondering what the fate of our nation would be.
I voted early, so I didn't have to stand in a long line to vote on Election Day. In fact, I got to wait at the Honda dealership for my van to be fixed. The story behind that is a whole other blog topic...
As the day went by, I found myself getting anxious and worried about this historical election. Everyone knew how monumental this one would be. Some people voted for the first time in their lives. We all voted with different issues of importance. Some are concerned about the economy. Some are concerned about energy. Some are concerned about pro-life vs. pro-choice and the sanctity of marriage. And the list goes on... Some people believe this is the "end times." Needless to say, there was a lot to think about.
As a Christian, I find that even though I know God is always in charge, I still can manage to get myself worked up about the problems around me, especially BIG stuff. However, yesterday, I experienced an amazing transformation in my thinking. It came from such a small, somewhat insignificant thing. Looking back at it, I just love God even more for the way He can reach me right where I am and touch my heart so deeply and personally. He has a way of knowing the perfect way to speak to us so we will have no question about it that it is Him.
It was right in the middle of my day. Clay had just woke up from his nap. He has been waking up very fussy due to the body cast (another future blog topic). As I soothed him and made him comfortable, the bus arrived with Anna and Sarah. I brought them inside and began unloading their backpacks like I do every day. Then, I noticed it. Something small and blue in the bottom of Anna's backpack. I didn't remember seeing it there that morning when I loaded her backpack, but there it was now. I pulled it out and just smiled.
Thank you, God! I needed that!
So you are wondering, what was it? Interestingly, it was a small blue frisbee that the girls had won in church a few Sundays ago. On the top, it was painted like the Earth. And written across the bottom were the words: "He's got the whole world in His hands."
I don't know how that frisbee got in that backpack. I think God, Himself, orchestrated the whole event to remind me of one of the very first lessons we learn in Sunday school as a child. It is even a song. He's got the whole world in His hands. Not just the United States in His hands. Not just the Holy Land in His hands. Not just one certain race of people or another in His hands. The WHOLE world! ALL people. ALL of the time. He's got the WHOLE world in His hands!!!!
So, today, whether you are celebrating or saddened by the results of this election. Peace be with you! It does not matter who is in the White House. It has never mattered! What matters is Who is seated on the throne. Our Heavenly Father will ALWAYS be in charge. Nothing happens that He didn't allow. And, He loves every single one of us the same. We are ALL his children. Some of us may not know Him, yet, but He still puts us where we are when we are there.
Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27 NIV.
Friends, peace be with you! God loves you and He is ALWAYS good! He's got the Whole World in His Hands.
I voted early, so I didn't have to stand in a long line to vote on Election Day. In fact, I got to wait at the Honda dealership for my van to be fixed. The story behind that is a whole other blog topic...
As the day went by, I found myself getting anxious and worried about this historical election. Everyone knew how monumental this one would be. Some people voted for the first time in their lives. We all voted with different issues of importance. Some are concerned about the economy. Some are concerned about energy. Some are concerned about pro-life vs. pro-choice and the sanctity of marriage. And the list goes on... Some people believe this is the "end times." Needless to say, there was a lot to think about.
As a Christian, I find that even though I know God is always in charge, I still can manage to get myself worked up about the problems around me, especially BIG stuff. However, yesterday, I experienced an amazing transformation in my thinking. It came from such a small, somewhat insignificant thing. Looking back at it, I just love God even more for the way He can reach me right where I am and touch my heart so deeply and personally. He has a way of knowing the perfect way to speak to us so we will have no question about it that it is Him.
It was right in the middle of my day. Clay had just woke up from his nap. He has been waking up very fussy due to the body cast (another future blog topic). As I soothed him and made him comfortable, the bus arrived with Anna and Sarah. I brought them inside and began unloading their backpacks like I do every day. Then, I noticed it. Something small and blue in the bottom of Anna's backpack. I didn't remember seeing it there that morning when I loaded her backpack, but there it was now. I pulled it out and just smiled.
Thank you, God! I needed that!
So you are wondering, what was it? Interestingly, it was a small blue frisbee that the girls had won in church a few Sundays ago. On the top, it was painted like the Earth. And written across the bottom were the words: "He's got the whole world in His hands."
I don't know how that frisbee got in that backpack. I think God, Himself, orchestrated the whole event to remind me of one of the very first lessons we learn in Sunday school as a child. It is even a song. He's got the whole world in His hands. Not just the United States in His hands. Not just the Holy Land in His hands. Not just one certain race of people or another in His hands. The WHOLE world! ALL people. ALL of the time. He's got the WHOLE world in His hands!!!!
So, today, whether you are celebrating or saddened by the results of this election. Peace be with you! It does not matter who is in the White House. It has never mattered! What matters is Who is seated on the throne. Our Heavenly Father will ALWAYS be in charge. Nothing happens that He didn't allow. And, He loves every single one of us the same. We are ALL his children. Some of us may not know Him, yet, but He still puts us where we are when we are there.
Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27 NIV.
Friends, peace be with you! God loves you and He is ALWAYS good! He's got the Whole World in His Hands.
Monday, August 4, 2008
The Leaky Swim Diaper
I haven't written in quite a while. In fact, its been 2 months! In that time, I have been doing all the fun summer things that moms and kids like to do- and coming up with some great blog ideas in the process. So today, I dedicate another blog to my dear friend Carolyn. This is a story that HAS to be told:
If you are a mom of a child who is not yet potty-trained, then you are well aware of the importance of the swim diaper. These great little diapers are required at all public and community pools. Now whether they really hold everything inside of them is still the question. I can tell you from experience that they DO NOT hold in pee-pee, so don't allow your child to wear one in their carseat on the way to the pool. If Junior goes potty, you will get to go through the hassle of taking the cover off of the carseat to wash it (or just letting it dry out, which I don't recommend if your car will be subject to the Texas heat. One word- STINKY!). So the basic reason for the use of swim diapers is really just to keep the worse of two yucks, poo-poo, inside the diaper and out of the pool. Or, so we think.
Last week, a few friends and I decided to take the kids to the pool. Carolyn realized, after we got there, that she didn't have a swim diaper for her daughter so she borrowed one. You would think that everything went fine since all of the kids were wearing their swim diapers. Unfortunately for Carolyn, this was NOT the case.
Shortly after getting to the pool, the friend who lived in the neighborhood had to leave because her son wouldn't use the potty at the pool's restroom. He was having a constipation problem (and that's a WHOLE other story), and couldn't relax enough to go poo-poo because the restroom was so stinky. She told us we were welcome to stay even though she had to leave, so we stayed to swim.
A while later, my son decided he was done swimming and wanted to play in a puddle of stagnant water by the outdoor showers. After carrying him away from the puddle a dozen times, I decided that it was time for us to go. Besides that, the heat was unbearable. Texas has had record highs this summer and may go on record for the hottest summer ever. Even playing in the pool is too hot!
Well, Carolyn had planned to stay a little while longer. She didn't expect to leave so soon, but the swim diaper had other plans...
Her daughter had been playing beside the pool, but wasn't actually in the water. Carolyn suddenly noticed something disgusting leaking out the sides of the swim diaper. She brought her daughter over to the lounge chair to change the diaper, and lo and behold, opened up the yuckiest poo-poo ever! It went everywhere- the towel, the ground, and all over her daughter's legs. It was so bad that she gave up with the baby wipes and opted to stick her under the shower. After cleaning up the mess, she noticed something on the concrete near the pool. When she went to investigate, she found that the diaper had failed at the very thing it was designed to do: keep the poop INSIDE the diaper. There was not only poop on the concrete, but a small portion had fallen into the water!
She attempted to scoop it out of the water, but it quickly sank to the bottom of the pool. What now?
Being an honest Christian woman, Carolyn did the right thing and waited for the security guard of the pool to return to his seat so she could let him know about the poop in the water. Well, what should have been an easily-handled issue turned into a whole other fiasco.
The security guard informed us that Carolyn would have to pay for the pool to be cleaned- HOA policy. I was floored! No way! Not only does my friend who lives in the neighborhood pay a monthly HOA fee to cover pool maintenance, but approximately 1,000 other people pay a fee, too. Now I could understand making a parent pay for pool clean-up if they failed to put a swim diaper on their child, but this was not the case. What to do?
Well, phone calls were made to the HOA. Complaints regarding this policy have been noted. And now we wait. As for Carolyn, it was not the way she had planned for her day to go. But then again, isn't that the way things are sometimes? We plan for a certain outcome only to be surprised by a completely different result.
What did I learn from this? I learned that honesty is still the best policy. Carolyn and I could have easily left the pool without telling the security guard about the poop. We certainly wouldn't be dealing with the HOA policy problem, right now . But at the end of the day, would either of us be able to rest peacefully knowing that we had failed to report the problem? Also, we would have had to live with the guilt in knowing that other people were swimming in a poop-infested pool.
Yes, it seems that her honesty wasn't appreciated as it should have been. It would have been nice to get a response from the HOA that went something like this: "Thanks for letting us know. Thanks again for remembering to use a swim diaper. There was no way you could have known that it would leak, so don't worry about it. We will handle it." That wasn't the way it went, but the important thing is that she handled it honestly. For that, God will honor her. In the end, whether she ends up paying a fee or not, she can rest in peace knowing that she did the right thing. God is smiling because she did.
If you are a mom of a child who is not yet potty-trained, then you are well aware of the importance of the swim diaper. These great little diapers are required at all public and community pools. Now whether they really hold everything inside of them is still the question. I can tell you from experience that they DO NOT hold in pee-pee, so don't allow your child to wear one in their carseat on the way to the pool. If Junior goes potty, you will get to go through the hassle of taking the cover off of the carseat to wash it (or just letting it dry out, which I don't recommend if your car will be subject to the Texas heat. One word- STINKY!). So the basic reason for the use of swim diapers is really just to keep the worse of two yucks, poo-poo, inside the diaper and out of the pool. Or, so we think.
Last week, a few friends and I decided to take the kids to the pool. Carolyn realized, after we got there, that she didn't have a swim diaper for her daughter so she borrowed one. You would think that everything went fine since all of the kids were wearing their swim diapers. Unfortunately for Carolyn, this was NOT the case.
Shortly after getting to the pool, the friend who lived in the neighborhood had to leave because her son wouldn't use the potty at the pool's restroom. He was having a constipation problem (and that's a WHOLE other story), and couldn't relax enough to go poo-poo because the restroom was so stinky. She told us we were welcome to stay even though she had to leave, so we stayed to swim.
A while later, my son decided he was done swimming and wanted to play in a puddle of stagnant water by the outdoor showers. After carrying him away from the puddle a dozen times, I decided that it was time for us to go. Besides that, the heat was unbearable. Texas has had record highs this summer and may go on record for the hottest summer ever. Even playing in the pool is too hot!
Well, Carolyn had planned to stay a little while longer. She didn't expect to leave so soon, but the swim diaper had other plans...
Her daughter had been playing beside the pool, but wasn't actually in the water. Carolyn suddenly noticed something disgusting leaking out the sides of the swim diaper. She brought her daughter over to the lounge chair to change the diaper, and lo and behold, opened up the yuckiest poo-poo ever! It went everywhere- the towel, the ground, and all over her daughter's legs. It was so bad that she gave up with the baby wipes and opted to stick her under the shower. After cleaning up the mess, she noticed something on the concrete near the pool. When she went to investigate, she found that the diaper had failed at the very thing it was designed to do: keep the poop INSIDE the diaper. There was not only poop on the concrete, but a small portion had fallen into the water!
She attempted to scoop it out of the water, but it quickly sank to the bottom of the pool. What now?
Being an honest Christian woman, Carolyn did the right thing and waited for the security guard of the pool to return to his seat so she could let him know about the poop in the water. Well, what should have been an easily-handled issue turned into a whole other fiasco.
The security guard informed us that Carolyn would have to pay for the pool to be cleaned- HOA policy. I was floored! No way! Not only does my friend who lives in the neighborhood pay a monthly HOA fee to cover pool maintenance, but approximately 1,000 other people pay a fee, too. Now I could understand making a parent pay for pool clean-up if they failed to put a swim diaper on their child, but this was not the case. What to do?
Well, phone calls were made to the HOA. Complaints regarding this policy have been noted. And now we wait. As for Carolyn, it was not the way she had planned for her day to go. But then again, isn't that the way things are sometimes? We plan for a certain outcome only to be surprised by a completely different result.
What did I learn from this? I learned that honesty is still the best policy. Carolyn and I could have easily left the pool without telling the security guard about the poop. We certainly wouldn't be dealing with the HOA policy problem, right now . But at the end of the day, would either of us be able to rest peacefully knowing that we had failed to report the problem? Also, we would have had to live with the guilt in knowing that other people were swimming in a poop-infested pool.
Yes, it seems that her honesty wasn't appreciated as it should have been. It would have been nice to get a response from the HOA that went something like this: "Thanks for letting us know. Thanks again for remembering to use a swim diaper. There was no way you could have known that it would leak, so don't worry about it. We will handle it." That wasn't the way it went, but the important thing is that she handled it honestly. For that, God will honor her. In the end, whether she ends up paying a fee or not, she can rest in peace knowing that she did the right thing. God is smiling because she did.
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